Jokes

Why did the punk cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the chicken!

Zig: Can you light a fire with two pieces of wood?
Zag: Yes, if one of them is a match!

What do butterflies sleep on?
Caterpillows!

Why did the banana go out with the prune?
He couldn't find a date!

Useful Advice

Don't eat anything that says, DO NOT EAT

Do not attempt to jump on a bed with no mattress!

Don't lick irons

Jokes

What do ghosts wear in the snow?
BOOts!


What only swims at night?
A starfish!

Carlos: I'm on a seafood diet.
Joe: You don't look any slimmer to me.
Carlos: No, every time I see food I eat it!

What happens to an illegally parked frog?
It gets toad away!